The Great Crocs War began in 2002.
What was first thought to be a goofy looking footwear option for boaters and gardeners spread like a virus from those early adopters to workers in hospitals and kitchens.
By 2006 mass adoption was underway but even then because of the objectively ugly nature of the shoe those of us fighting against their spread never thought we would lose.
We assumed the trend would burn out and we’d get to say ‘told ya so’ as Crocs would become a ridiculous footnote in the annals of fashion. Joining previous missteps such as the Zoot suit, frosted tips and shoulder pads as stuff we look back on while shaking our heads.
But Crocs endured multiple tides. Rise and fall. Rise and fall. Every time we thought we were victorious over the abhorrent foam shoe they would rally. People who had shunned Crocs in their youth would lose their sense of fashion in their 30’s and would buy Crocs for themselves and their children.
Ah yes, children. The place where Crocs can grab hold of a consumer 20 years before they buy a pair on their own.
Crocs played the long game. Like the 'here forever’ nature of their polyurethane DNA, they would wait out generations while endearing themselves to the youth. As our contrarian army aged out of relevance, those who grew up believing that Crocs were ok and normal became an army of their own. Incapable of understanding why anyone would see Crocs as a threat to fashion and common sense.
In 2018 the tide shifted in favor of the foam clown shoes. General Andrew Rees took over Crocs’ forces and led them from ragtag overachievers to an elite outfit hellbent on ending the war on their terms.
You know the rest. Crocs has ascended, assimilating more and more of society. The are the brightly colored Borg with Jibbitz. To the point that those of us who have been in this fight since the beginning are now seen as the crazy ones.
How could we hate Crocs? What is there to hate? Why don’t you lay down your arms and join us?
I’m here today to tell you that yes the battle may be lost. Our forces scattered. But while battle's end, the resistance has just begun.
We are now a rebellion. Hellbent on bringing logic to the lunacy of a pro-Crocs world. We may not be amassed on the battlefield taking our enemy head on, but you will not know where or when we will strike. Our methods are secret, subtle, and changing. But most of all we still believe that we can bring society back to the sanity of a pre-Crocs world.
So if you’re out there and you see people wearing Crocs and you are thinking to yourself, “you know you kind of look like a dumbass with those on your feet.” There are others like you. Fellow Avengers fighting the forgone conclusion that Crocs are.. Inevitable.
Join the Crocs Resistance.
-ct
Drips & Dregs is the weekly column from Rock Fight Founder Colin True.
Sometimes outdoorsy and always outdoor adjacent, check in weekly to see what is on his mind.