All Rise for the Star Spangled Badass
To his mom, he’s Samuel. To those who know him, just Chad.
But to everyone else, he’s the alpha dog in a world full of betas, and a room full of Tri Delts. He’s Viper Ace. And he’s the Leader. Leader of the freedom world.
Buckle up for the most face-melting, liberty-loving lunatic ever to blast out of the U.S. of Awesome! With arms beefier than the Constitution and a jawline sharper than eagle talons, Viper Ace is here to roundhouse Commies and kick flip Socialism right in the face.
Viper Ace knows how to bring it:
No Pity. Extra Pit Vipers that are so rad they’re banned in 48 states. (Can you guess where they’re legal? I bet you can.)
BMX for chillin’ with the homies after ripping some sick seat grabs.
Lil’ Buddy Tactical Wingman with spare bota bag. Kid Rock Edition.
A selection of his own signature decks. And signature kicks. And signature decks with kick already attached. Is that awesome? Yes, it is. And that’s how Viper Ace rolls.
This Fourth of July, turn your celebration up a notch, or two. Or seventeen hundred and seventy six notches, by inviting Viper Ace to your house. He won’t just bring the fireworks, he IS the fireworks. What’s that sound? Red, white and BOOM!
WARNING: Viper Ace may cause anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, insufficient patriotism, jealousy, and/or deep revulsion depending on one’s political persuasion. Any resemblance to people, living or otherwise or cartoon characters known to criticize music videos is purely coincidental. Not responsible for sudden outbursts of freedom, endos, Bruhs, or Bawitdaba.
Viper Ace: Leader of the Freedom World is the latest from Rock Fight Action Figures... Collect 'em All!
(Disclaimer: Rock Fight Outdoor Action Figures are possibly possessed by ancient demons, throw real rocks, and are not recommended for anyone to actually own. Available exclusively at defunct toy and sporting goods retailers nowhere. All rights reserved.)
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