Say hello to Trashie, your new partner in pretense!
This delightful tote is here to help you navigate the murky waters of environmental consciousness without getting your hands too dirty with real change.
Trashie loves short walks from the SUV to the coffee shop, judging the consumption habits of others, and pretending capitalism isn't the root cause of our environment’s destruction. Don't worry about those big corporations or systemic changes – Trashie's got this!
Trashie's incredible features:
🗑️ Holds up to 15 lbs of used textiles, organic produce, or personal guilt
🗑️ Made from recyclable good intentions
🗑️ Built-in superiority complex
🗑️ Adorable face distracts from complex global issues
Everyone knows true change starts with buying more stuff. So grab your reusable straw, ignore plastic-filled gyres the size of Texas, and let Trashie do the heavy lifting of appearing environmentally conscious. Because nothing says I care about the Earth quite like another consumer product made from other consumer products.
Remember, every time you bring Trashie out to play, a carbon credit sprouts its wings. It’s your reward in the beautiful circle that is circularity.
Trashie is the latest from Rock Fight Action Figures... Collect 'em All!
(Disclaimer: Rock Fight Outdoor Action Figures are possibly possessed by ancient demons, throw real rocks, and are not recommended for anyone to actually own. Available exclusively at defunct toy and sporting goods retailers nowhere. All rights reserved.)