Dear Extended Outdoor Family,
Greetings from the undead! The Zombie Family clan hopes you're all hanging in there. As the leaves fall and winter creeps in, we wanted to share our, well, static situation.
It's been another year of just existing. Our branches might not be thriving, but we’re dying on the vine, like true zombies. Marmot's still cozy in the back of the closet, hidden under stacks of inventory that just won’t sell through. Prana’s been caught in a loop, trying to stand out but blending right in. She’s had to fend off bullies at school who accuse her of trying to be just another Gap. Kids can be so cruel.
I’ve been keeping things strapped in and functional, but really haven’t broken any new ground in eons Those “innovations” have been great…at filling warehouse shelves! Chaco? Well, they’re hanging on, sandal straps and all. They’re holding firm to the dream that the next generation will wander back and rediscover the fanny pack of footwear.
Despite the lack of growth, our quest for customers, followers, and yes, brains, is alive and barely kicking. As the zombies of the outdoor world, we may be fading, but we’ve got the grit (and perhaps a bit of rot) to keep us going.
Remember, a zombie may not grow, but it doesn’t die either.
Happy Fall-idays everyone!
Forever undead,
The Zombie Family
(Marmot, Kelty, Prana, and Lil’ Chaco)
Story Filed by Real Fake News, Part of the /S Division of Rock Fight, llc. Things have been changed. There are no innocent.